It isn't any wonder that America's obesity rate is sky high. The lure of high fat, high sodium, high carb munchies is almost too much for many to handle on their own. Even Mouse in the Pantry is guilty of craving the worst of the worst out there in the convenience food department.
Always a kind of "Team Player" I have been exchanging encouraging words with a fellow belly buster for the last few months. We email, we call, we sit in coffee shops and stare at croissants. We're making progress - slow, painful, progress.
There isn't anyone out there (ok, maybe my cousin Cam) who couldn't do with a little mid-line encouragement, and if only for your amusement, I'm going to share what has become an online diary between a fellow eat-better pal and myself. Funny encouraging, sad and sometimes pathetic, we are sure to be honest, and you get to peek.
What's that you say? You don't care about my whiny wimpy weight-loss stories? Fine, your loss (actually mine), this stuff is hilarious!
So here it goes. Post dated from many months ago. Follow the bulge and the belly busting laughs. I'll post them once and awhile when they're good and dirty.
*For anonymity's sake my pal shall be called "Soccer Mom". This is such a loaded title, as she is anything/everything but a soccer Mom!
Superbowl - Monday - after one week on task.
Soccer Mom:
"OK, so I fell of the horse.
But I'm getting back on. Today.
I weighed myself. Not pretty. Still weigh like a cow. Thought I'd have dropped 20 pounds or so by now.
The problem is, I didn't weigh myself last week. Scale was broken.. GUESSED at my starting weight. Boy was I off ;-(
So I bought a battery, put it in the scale, stripped down to my birthday suit and got on. OK. Now I know. Now I know the cold, hard, ugly truth. I WEIGH MORE THAN I DID WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY 11 POUND BABIES!!!!!!!!
So I got off the scale, moved it to a different time zone in the bathroom. Phew. I lost .8 lbs just moving it to a friendlier location!!!! Cool.
Bad news.... the scale broke again.
Is it a sign?"
Me (Mouse in the Pantry):
"The famous psychoanalyst Dr. Fattie McFatterson once said, “A broken scale is just a brick wall between you and your dream of being a supermodel. It is your subconscious trying to undermine your true reality!”
Did you like that? I just made it up.
You have every right to fall off the wagon. And no better reason than a nail biter ending to a great game.
So, I did lose, but when putting on my pants this morning I falsely led myself to believe that there would no longer be the usual tug-and-pull action that is required these days to get into my pants (husband's trying too). No, it seems I lost my few pounds around my big toe, and maybe a little off my ears. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing, off my ass.
I had oatmeal for breakfast with 1 teaspoon of brown sugar. 2 1/3 points. Coffee at Aqus, cuz’ I’m out here. 2 points. Your email this morning – priceless!
M.
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