A Mouse in the Pantry

Be Bold

"And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all." - Ted Hughes

There is something truly magical, and in a strictly non-Disney way, about watching two little legs take flight in a storm of sequiny blue icy dust. For this last weekend it was our dear, and at one time shy, 10 year old Emma who flew into the spotlights of the Snoopy ice arena for her very first skating competition.  She was truly the most graceful and sure footed skater out there, and let me tell you, the smile of a girl who knew what she was doing was enough to melt the whole arena.

Emma took a leap.  She did something out of her comfort zone.  She lived.

It was just today that I found another bold moment when reading the story of Somchai Yoosabai, a Thai fire fighter who went leaps and bounds above the rest to save an autistic boy who was balanced perilously on a dangerous ledge.  Knowing the young child had a love of Superheroes, Somchai quickly went back to the fire house to retrieve his Spider-man outfit (of course), and went to the little action hero's rescue as a web-throwing, building-scaling Thai version of the marvel comic. 

That took guts.  That took heart.  That was a leap of love.

These are uncertain times and perhaps the easiest way to survive them is to slink away into our own little worlds.  To hunker down (like I am most definitely guilty of!), to resist the new, the changing, the difficult.  But I think many would agree, that growing during this time is what will make us stand out from the rest.  Reach out to those around you.  Touch someones life and change your own.

This could be a stretch, but here it goes.

Uncomfortable Bran Muffins (Ha! Because I made them at 6 a.m. to give ALL my love to my little boy)
Recipe by Meloni Courtway

1 cup raisins
3 tablespoons hot water
1 1/2 cups ground oat bran
1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon kosher salt (or 1/2 teaspoon table salt)
1 large egg, plus 1 egg yolk
1/2  cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup  molasses
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt
1 cup finely shredded carrot (about two small carrots)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Prepare a nonstick muffin tin by spraying with cooking oil.

Place raisins in a small bowl and cover with 3 tablespoons hot water.  Let soak for five minutes and than drain off excess water. 

In a large bowl whisk together oat bran, flours, baking soda and salt until combined.

In  a separate bowl whisk egg and egg yolk until well combine and light in color.  Add the sugar, molasses and vanilla and whisk for 30 seconds or until beginning to thicken. Whisk in melted butter and yogurt thoroughly to combine.

Add wet ingredients to your dry mixture and fold together until just combined.  Do not over mix.  Stir in raisins and carrots.

Scoop mixture into individual muffins using a 1/3 cup measure or ice cream scooper.  Do not level out the mounds that created.

Bake until toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean - 18 minutes.

Let cool in tin for 5 minutes before removing.

* As a side note, please do read Sonoma Country Life today for an excellent example of what it means to redefine your life!

A Decision

A serious absence of blogs from me lately - sorry.  Apparently the cool, calm and collected blogger has been hiding out.  I feel like i've been in a bunker actually - awaiting the "Decision!"

Well, it's come, and no surprises here.  I still stand on my previous thoughts, I would take Hawaii and a pineapple plantation any day. Or... The rolling green hills of Virginia would work.  Seattle is so hip, forefront of the music scene and all, but not this time folks!

The Courtways are staying put.  Well, I should say, the youngest three (myself, and the two kids) will be hanging out in lovely and perfect Petaluma for at least another two years.  Papa Courtway will be less and less around, but he knows how to get home, I'm sure.

His new position on the USCGC Bertholf, one of the newest and brightest (and most controversial) of the Coast Guard fleet, will surely take him to new  and exciting adventures.  South America has been rumored, and the Mediterranean too (well, at least one of us will get a tropical adventure out of the deal).

So, now it's on to the serious business: First one to find us a home to buy wins a prize!  Happy hunting.

social experimentation

It was Sunday.  The weekend had been sapped away in a flurry of typical weekend things, and now Sunday evening was closing in on us.  The house was pretty much a disaster area, as it is by Sunday, and everything needed tending to, except the fridge which in its recent vacancy of food I had given a good and over due wipe down.

"I am so not in the mood to cook," I passively said to my distracted husband.
"Hmm" he muttered.
"Can we have Padthai food mom," chimed in the five year old.
"Hmm" he now said directly to me in a fierce kind of way that can only mean one thing, and it isn't hunger.

"Hmm!" better known as (in English) "We are a little low on funds this Sunday because you spent too much last week"

"Are we out of money?" I said in the snarkiest possible voice.
"Well..." he didn't completely answer. 
So we were, at least that was clear.

I stomped off to the kitchen to forage through drawers and cooler bins and pantry shelves.  I was making dinner and I was NOT happy about it. 

Meanwhile the five year old was now crying because he also isn't getting padthai food (yes, I know it's actually Thai food!). And the husband? He was back working in the garage. Everybody's having fun.

It was at about this point that I began to have a hissy fit that would consequently effect our whole week.

"Fine" I mutter to myself and the pantry shelves, who are great company when you're feeling pissy.
"Fine, Fine, Fine, I won't spend any of YOUR money this week.  Fine." (can you see steam rising from my head?)
I begin to throw things from the cupboard; pasta, rice, flour.  I rip off a piece of notebook paper and begin to write.

"Monday: Beans with frozen corn and a salad" Have to use the salad before it goes bad. I put the beans on to soak.  How efficient.

"Tuesday: Pasta with canned marinara and the one frozen sausage left. Frozen peas for a veg." I think he hates peas. Also, today we will run out of milk. Good, who needs milk, let him suffer.

"Wednesday: Grilled cheese on homemade bread - IF - I get homemade bread made! Carrots for veg." Now I have myself making homemade bread - WTF! But won't he be pained to see all my hard and thrifty work!

"Thursday: Pasta with canned marinara - no sausage. Frozen berries for veg."

"Friday: Leftovers, HA! Eat my shorts. Bite me. Make your own darn dinner!"

This was not a very productive, healing or healthy list.  It was bad that I made this list.  Don't make lists.

I was still a little razzed on Monday morning, but by Tuesday I was feeling so guilty about my scheming and immature approach to discussing marital issues (money, kids...), I went to the store and bought milk (with my money because I was obviously still getting over it).  Why was I doing this? What was this list about? Why did I feel the need to stick it to him, him being a very good guy after all and an amazing husband (despite, and I don't take this back, some unhealthy money regulation issues that we won't get into)?

But then, a light went off.

"What if I, having forgiven him completely,  decide to challenge my pantry anyways?"  I asked myself this while standing in front of the egg section at Trader Joe's. 

"What if I only bought the milk and nothing else (as tempting as that was)?  How long could we go?"

So I walked away from the eggs, knowing there were two (dos) in my fridge.  Whatever needed to happen this week needed to happen from what we had.  Yes, weight watchers with no veg was going to be tricky. Yes, I plan on foraging the community garden for greens. Yes, I bought the milk, because this wasn't about him or the kids, it was about me (and I don't drink milk).

When you take away the anger, and the frustrations, the feelings of being trapped in your own tiny reality, this stretching feels very good. Tonight it's pasta again, but not with frozen berries. I'm trusting that some kind of green veggie is coming my way, I'll just wait and see what form it takes.

Oh, by the way, today is Thursday and we're out of toothpaste, gas, and diapers.  Hmmm....